Advocating for your child is hard at first. When you begin asking questions, saying “no”, and asking for other options, the resistance feels heavy. Often, it’s unexpected if you’ve always just gone along with whatever you’ve been told. It was for me. When I began using my voice, the knee-jerk reaction from others was to silence me.

I was a mom, not a professional.

And maybe that’s what you are feeling right now. That you aren’t qualified to make these decisions for your child. That it’s too heavy of a responsibility, that there is too much at risk.

That’s exactly why you are the right person for the job. The risk is too great to blindly follow someone else that doesn’t care about your child as much as you do. They also don’t know your child as well as you do. You are with them every single day and able to determine what is working and what isn’t.

One area in which I really want to encourage you is the fact that you are in charge. You do not have to outsource your power. In fact, you are the one that hires and fires anyone else that you choose to help you and your child on the journey of healing. You may meet a lot of doctors, therapists, and other professionals all with different opinions and the reality is—they are not all right. Not when it comes to your child. Again, there is “no one size fits all” solution and if your gut says that one opinion isn’t a good fit, then most likely it is not. If you don’t like that opinion or the way you are treated in a professional’s office, don’t hire them. Move on. Find someone else that wants to work for you and with you.

Too many parents settle for opinions and options that are not the best because they are scared to say that it isn’t a good fit.

Here’s an example of how to say “no” and move on…

“You’ve provided a great option, but I would like to seek out a few other opinions before we choose what route we’d like to take in our healing process. Thank you so much for your time.”

You don’t have to “fire” someone in a way that feels rude or abrupt. Truly what you are doing is exploring all your options. In simply saying that you are seeking out more, you still leave that door open in case you do feel you need to go back and hire that person.

Now, let’s talk about some areas you will need to be ready to advocate for.

Complementary therapy:

I am very much against ABA therapy.

I always recommend requesting floor time or playtime therapy instead.

This is an area you may have to do some research and pushback in as ABA therapy is the standard route, but I truly believe that ABA does more harm than good and will hinder healing more than assist in it.

IEPS:

I have an entire course dedicated to this that will be helpful if you need to advocate for your child in this area.

You are in the driver’s seat. You get to choose who your child sees, what kind of resources he/she receives, and where you go. Don’t scoot over and let someone else drive. This is your child and no one knows your child better than you do.

While I know it can be so overwhelming at first, hard things are worthwhile things. It’s not just where you grow as a mom, but where your child grows, too. Teach them not to settle for things because “it’s easier”. Teach them to fight for what is right. Teach them to get the resources they deserve to heal and to thrive in life.

This isn’t just about the now, it’s about what’s to come. It’s about who you are going to become and who your child is going to become. It’s about something so much bigger than the overwhelm in this moment.

And before you know it, you won’t be overwhelmed. You’ll be empowered. You’ll be confident. You’ll be sure of yourself and honestly, that’s one of the best things you can ever do for your child. To step into your power as a parent.